Yup, there is no point in trying to deny it. After being married for some years, especially after having kids, a marriage very often needs some TLC. The pink clouds from your first days have been swept away by big grey ones which are called responsibility, work, lack of sleep and other not so fun things all of which mean no time for each other. It is easy to forget what it was like before. It all seem like a different life…
The family business
Life as it is with kids and household chores can be devastating for a marriage. The room for having fun and being together is narrow. If you don’t put in an effort to create some room, the marriage will eventually suffer. What is important is that you share moments together. And have a project together that differs from the running of the Family business. Fighting over who is doing the dishes is not the recipe for that bond. A relationship needs togetherness. Focusing on each other and nobody else. We all have our different ways of togetherness. It is not what you do that is important, but that you share.
Quality over quantity
What did you and your partner enjoy doing before you got married? Can you make room in your lives for an activity you both like? The good thing about life as a grown up is that you don’t expect to have fun all the time. And when you do have the possibility to do something, you savor every moment of it. It’s all about quality time. For instance, once in a while my husband and I find a way of getting in some snowboarding together. We take what we get and are extremely happy about it. Sharing those moments where you don’t have to check your watch, where it is only the two of you together, doing something you both love, makes the bond between you stronger. Yes of course it get’s stronger by watching your son take his first steps too, but that is about the Family business, not you as two individuals. You need to grow together, and not in separate directions. Take my advice, go out have some fun with your partner!